Rollarcoaster

Remember that 4Him song back in the 90's? '.....Its a good thing we are not alone on this big scream machine. Cause it's a rollarcoaster ride of life, spins you up and lets you down.....' Well, that pretty much sums up MY LIFE! The Lord knows I do not do well with the unknown, so therefore the 'unknown' is always in my life.

Many of you know that I am an interpreter to the deaf. I love it but the schedule is wearing on me. During this summer, when no work was coming in I made the decision to start looking at other opportunities. One that came up was a position in my moms company that she works for, Compunet. They were hiring for their phlebotomy department. I got called and met for the informational meeting. Then I got called for 2nd interview. Today I got the rejection email. : ( I was extremely upset. I am tired of not having a regular paycheck... Apparently I was over qualified. So, back to the drawing board... I did have a chat with my mama.. She mentioned maybe I should look into nursing assistant job. So, today I signed up down at Sinclair for their nursing assistants class. The problem I am finding is the money. I need to find $700.00 before Friday.. So please pray with me. I am excited for this new opportunity but there is that unknown out there.

On a wonderful happy note, I did pass the first part of my Interpreting Certification test on August 13th.. So there is that..

We are all still coughing and sneezing. However, we will live to see another day, Lord willing..lol

Exciting News...

I have some very exciting news, that I cant share just yet. What I can tell you is that I feel like I am jumping off a cliff. Or maybe better yet, have any of you gone on the ride at Kings Island 'Drop Zone'? They slowly bring you up, up, up until you think you cant get up any higher. 264 feet drop at 67mph. That is how my stomach feels right now.

Emma continues to be sick, she has a cold and is miserable. Mia on the other hand is bouncing off the walls. One wants to snuggle and the other wants to wrestle. I need another one of me!

This Hartz is out....

Starting up again.

With the world of social networking there hasnt been much need for a blog. However a recent encounter with a family member of mine, inspired me to start up again. I want to tell the world how important my family is to me. And if one person reads this or no one reads it. I want to do this for my girls and my husband.

The begining of summer was super hard. I was not used to having the kids home ALL DAY. I struggled to keep up with them. Their constant need for something to do, uncontrollable energy. I was overwhelmed. However, I now have less than a month left with the kids before they go back to school and I am going to miss them. Their witty comebacks, their fresh thinking and common sense. I started a little notebook with little things that they say. Sometimes I just sit and laugh at the things they say.

Emma is starting 1st grade. I can hardly wrap my my around it. She is a fun energetic girl. She loves to watch t.v., play with her friends, color and she most def. loves Jesus. Jesus is always on her mind. I pray that those spiritual eyes continue as she grows. She loves to dance, music, riding her bike. She loves forts that her daddy builds and swimming. Emma has a tender heart but it is much more different than Mias. Emma is a realist, she doesnt put too much thought into a situation. She takes things at face value and doesnt read into a situation, compared to her sister who is a deep thinker.. Emma likes things done for her... She will be my difficult one in the area of learning...She will be 7 in September, Holy Mother!

Mia is my little bundle of energy as well (What was the Lord thinking giving me two balls of energy....) She loves books, coloring, arts and crafts. She loves to learn and makes me teach her letters and numbers. She also see things with spiritual eyes but she also has a super tender heart. The other day we were in a restaraunt and there was an old man eating alone. Mia looked at him and asked 'Mommy, why is that man eating alone?' I could tell it was bothering her.. Things like this also bother me. If she has inherited my tender heart she has inherited both a blessing and a curse. I know first hand.. I tried to lighten her load a little and I said 'Well maybe his wife is at work, or MAYBE his wife was making him crazy so he wanted to eat alone.' That brought a smile to her face. Had the man not finished eating I probably would have asked him to join us, to ease her little mind.

Brian is completely healed. He has been back to work for quite a few months. Lifting and playing with the girls like normal. It has been a huge adjustment, living a normal life. We have been learning to find time for each other again. After James being here almost a year and then Brian being so sick, it kinda felt like we were in survival mode and we didnt know how to enjoy each others company. So we are going back to basics. Making time for conversation without the kids, going on dates frequently, praying togethor as a family, and working towards praying togethor as a couple.

I am still working on my business @heartofhartzphotography. The website will be up and running soon, www.heartofhartzphotography.com . I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for this business venture. Until next time!

'But Wifey!!!! I don't want to go back to work!!!!'

I can't believe that is is already time for Brian to go back to work! Since his surgery there have been some adjustments to life, for everyone. Brian is still trying to get a handle on some of the changes that seem to be permanent. One of which is how much he is aloud to lift or carry. We are getting mixed reports so it makes it very confusing. Generally if he were to lift something that would be too heavy he would be at a higher risk for a hernia. We don't want that to happen. But he is concerned about going back to work because a big part of his job is doing 'manly man' stuff which includes sometimes very physical tasks. I told him not to worry, Dayton Christian will work with him because without him, the systems at Dayton Christian would go ker plunk. He actually started working from home a couple of weeks ago because no one knew how to handle the systems that kept freezing or shutting off. I keep trying to encourage him and that he needs to not let this stuff bother him. This is his life now and he will learn how to work around this 'disability'. He is also still in the process of finding the right bags to use. His little Stoma is an innie. LOL, So when he sits down his lil' stoma goes inside his belly and when he stands up, lil' stoma pops out. Cute as it may sound it is causing problems. He cant get a good seal around the little bugger. Causing leakage and irritated skin. So we are still trying to find something that works. However, this is the only thing that he has had issues with. Everyone is so amazed he isn't having any pain. He went and saw the G.I. Dr today and he was amazed. So.... He has been fully cleared to go back to work on Tuesday Feb 1st! It is time, he is starting to get stir crazy and since he doesn't have anything else to do I make him do the dishes which is driving him to the edge....lol... A man def. needs to work...Or at least Hartz men. Brian's Grandpa Hartz is STILL working, remodeling houses. He can't stand to sit still for too long.. Lol, I can totally see Brian being that way when he is Grandpas age.
We have made some changes to our lives this year. Mia started preschool this month and in the beginning she was going to go 3 half days and 2 full days. After much thought and talking with the hubby we feel we need to put her in full days, everyday. She is so bored without Emma here, asking me 'when is Emma coming home'. And she is so smart, I want her to be involved in school at an early age to develop that. Plus Emma is literally right across the hall from Mia, they see each other at Lunch and when they go to the after care program to wait for Daddy to get off work. I really feel like she will do great with this change. Both Emma and Mia are still trying to adjust to the schedule change 'Mommy, are you going to work now?' "Nope, mommy is home for the night. Isn't that nice? Our whole family is home together at night? You guys go to school during the day and Mommy and Daddy go to work and then we all come home and we are together!" They are liking this idea very much.
I am trying to balance all of the above! Trying to work as much as I can during the day just because we got so behind during Brian's surgery and I had no work coming in. We have had quite a few blessings bestowed upon us from our church and a few different members. We really are seeing the body work to help in any way they can. Everyone has helped in different areas. Some with prayers, some with financial gifts that we knew about and some we just found in an envelope. Just this week a dear family came forward and asked if we needed tires for our van. They were donating their van and the tires weren't very worn at all. This was a total God moment because my tires have been bald for a long time. The tires also were the right size and make! It was amazing! So, I am still on high about that one. Now I am praying for a new roof! lol..
Seeing my life up until I met Brian and then since Brian and I have been together we have faced alot of heartache and sadness and unbelievable 'How did this happen? Why did this happen' moments.Every time a new trial happens upon me I have a weak couple of days, where I get all of my fear out. I cry and cry and pray and ask why. Then it is like this 'eye of the storm' moment when there is nothing left to do but trust God. I had my few days of getting used to the idea of 'this' happening. Kinda like a child having a temper tantrum and then when they realize they aren't going to get their way they stop and go along with the instructions. Yeah, that's exactly what it's like. Before every trial I dig my feet in and say 'But I DON'T WANNA!' ...... Then God waits patiently for me to see that it is HIS WAY OR THE HIGHWAY! LOL.
So, for right now, we are in a hiatus. Nothing knew has happened. No new drama, just life. We would like it to stay that way for awhile, if at all possible. But we know all to well that a Christians life is full of hills and valleys...I would like to think we are midway down the mountain right now. We would like to camp it here for awhile. Thanks for taking the time to read!!!!!

1 Year Later

For the last few days I have really been silently thinking about this year. So much has been jam packed into these 365 days. Ever since we had Brians surgery scheduled I have been thinking about how fast this all happenned. He was fine 1 year ago. One year ago we were excited about bringing a little boy named James into our family. To become a part of our family. We were so excited as we got his room ready. Put all of the donated items away, put his clothes in his dresser. We brought him home dec 15th. By december 22nd, we knew we were going to have problems. We begged him to stop behaving badly. We tried everything.....Brians Crohns disease started to get bad while he was in Jamaica in January. As we were battling with James, Brians large intestines were taking a beating. I truley believe had we not taken James in, surgery would have been a few more years in the future. No, he would not have been able to avoid it but it would have been post poned a bit. Once we decided we could not keep James, the end of June, the damage had been done. Brians Crohns disease was no longer responding to medications despite the different meds they tried. We fought the Dr on the surgery. Back in the fall when we started the the Humira injections, we were sure that the injections would work. In only a small percentage of people does it not. Brian was feeling a bit better for a few days then not for a few more. Then he started declining, fast. The Dr. said the Humira should have been working by now, surgery is now back on the table. With no other alternatives we were faced we the reality that this would be OUR life, having this ileostomy...
Surgery was Dec 9th. Prior to surgery we had sent out many requests for prayers. Many 100's of people that we don't even know were praying for Brian this week. The surgery started at 9am. At 12pm I started to worry, we had not gotten an update. At 1pm we got an update that everything was going great and that they were still in the operating room. At close to 2 I was called into the consultation room, and 2 concerned Mommys and a Rae Rae followed me. The Doctor came in and said everything was as best as we could expect. Brian did so good, there were no surprises when they got inside and everything that needed to be done was done. The next step was to get things moving. ****If you have a weak stomach, skip ahead to the next set of stars**** Typically it takes 3-5 days for an ileostomy to start moving poo poo on it's own. Until he has regular BM's he would not be able to eat. Brian new this going in. Later in the recovery room I noticed something in his bag, it looked like poo. I told the nurse and she was like 'No, that is just drainage from the surgery' I said 'No, that is poo!' She looked and she seemed to be a little shocked. She then said ' Well sometimes they will start and stop and in a few days start up again, this is probably what will happen'. Little did she know that we had 100's of people praying for Brian to have a Poo! Needless to say, the stoma (which is the part of the intestine that is sticking out allowing him to have bm's) never stopped producing. He is a pooping machine!
*****Since Brians stoma seemed to be working unusually fast, he was not throwing up, getting dizzy, eating and all the plumbing was working they sent us home! We went from thursday to thursday to thursday to tuesday to finding out this morning that we were going home today!
Brian is so happy! He isn't in pain, he is not embarressed about his stoma or bag. If you ask, he may even show it to you. It is quite amazing! The ostomy nurses were wonderful. They made us see that his stoma is not a wound. It is durable, just like any other part of your body. Having an ostomy will not run your life, you will not be stinky and you can be happy!
If you have any questions or want to know more about his stoma or ostomy please email me. Lack of knowledge in this subject can be scary. We did not have the knowledge so we were a little scared. Having the knowledge now, we can help people understand about this. We want to use this for the glory of God. I want to be clear that, Having the Lord in our life, having a relationship with Jesus is the BIGGEST thing that got us through this. The 2nd was knowing of all the prayers that were going up for us. The last few days before the surgery, I would get emotional. Not about the surgery or life after the surgery but knowing that SO MANY were thinking and praying for us. Everytime my mom or someone would come up to me and say so and so was praying for you I would start bawling.
1 year later......Alot of changes.....Alot of surprises....ALL to the GLORY OF GOD.....
Brian and Monica

'Poo Poo Happens, it's just going to happen in a bag now'.....

This has been an extremly emotional day. Brian has been feeling super bad, his coloring is awful, he lives in the bathroom. Today we first went to the surgeon, who, in the begining seemed concerned that we were looking at this for Brian when he was so young. Once she read the chart and got some questions answered and looked at the colonoscopy she agreed that surgery whas the only medical option. But we weren't going to take a surgeons word for it. We wanted to hear from someone who had nothing to gain. The 2nd appointment we went to was to Brians old G.I. dr, whom actually diagnosed Brian in 1997. He took a look at his charts and said ' it needs to come out'. He was so very kind and was very clear. He said that the colon is not responding to medications anymore and that we were out of options. He said 'Do it'. He knows the surgeon and likes her, so that was comforting.
So when.....
Dec 9th will be the surgery. We will need to be in the hospital by 630 am.....Oh joy.... I believe the surgery is due to start at 830 am. He will be in the hospital approx. 7 to 10 days. I will need some help but I am still trying to work out the help that I need. I know for a fact I will need someone to keep the girls wednesday night and keep them through thursday. But Emma is still in school, so she will need to be brought to school. Mia has not started school yet so she will need taken care of. My mom has said she will take the girls the rest of the time but she wants to be with me for surgery day. We will also need someone to stay at the house and take care of the animals because I will be staying at the hospital with Brian. Those are the 2 main things we are looking at right now. Brian will be out of work for apprx 6 weeks. This is if nothing goes wrong. Please pray for him to start getting ready for this surgery, gaining strength, eating good, exercising, etc. You can email us at bmhartz@woh.rr.com if you have questions or if you can help us with the kids or animals..Thank you....

Brians GI doctors decision....

So, most of you know Brian is facing surgery due to Ulcerative Colitis flare up that has been ongoing for 1 year next month. Today (11/30/10) Brian has a colonoscopy to see what the medication Humira has been doing for him the 2 1/2 months he has been taking it. Along with the prednisone he has been on and off for most of the year. The results were not what we had hoped for. For you to understand the results, you need to understand the differences in Crohns disease and Ulcerative Colitis... In CD, the location of the inflammation may occur anywhere along the digestive tract from the mouth to the anus. In UC, the large intestine (colon) is typically the only site that is affected. However, in some people with UC the last section of the small intestine, the ileum, may also show inflammation. SymptomsMany symptoms of UC and CD are similar, but there are some subtle differences. UC patients tend to have pain in the lower left part of the abdomen, while CD patients commonly (but not always) experience pain in the lower right abdomen. With UC, bleeding from the rectum during bowel movements is very common, and bleeding is much less common in patients with CD.
Pattern of inflammationThe pattern that each form of IBD takes in the digestive tract is very distinct. UC tends to be continuous throughout the inflamed areas. In many cases, UC begins in the rectum or sigmoid colon, and spreads up through the colon as the disease progresses. In CD, the inflammation may occur in patches in 1 or more organs in the digestive system. For instance, a diseased section of colon may appear between two healthy sections. (http://ibdcrohns.about.com/od/ulcerativecolitis/a/diffuccd.htm)
So with all of this information this is what the dr. found. He found the small intestines are healthy, there are no wounds. The large intestines, there are 3 places where he is raw but it is not continuous ongoing throughout the colon. So it looks like Crohns but some of the symptoms are classic U.C. Brian has the bleeding but the spacing of healthy colon between the diseased colon is Crohns. Brian has pain all over his stomach, not just on the left or right side. But so far it has stayed in the large intestine, which is classic U.C. ((?????????????)) The dr. is saying that the disease is now presenting itself like Crohns disease now, which is disheartening. Because it looks like Crohns disease, just because they remove the large intestines, it is not a gurantee that he wont get sick again in the small intestines. Had it been Ulcerative Colitis they would have removed the large colon and he would have been done with the disease forever (in theory). He would have an ileostomy for 3-6 months then would graduate to a 'jpouch'. The 'jpouch' is his small intestines that would be connected to his rectum and basically go 'poo poo' like a 'normal' person. But because it is Crohns disease, the 'jpouch' is not an option. Therefore, he would keep the ileostomy for life. Now considering the life he has lived for a year of active painful , living in the bathroom this is SO much better. But we were hoping for the jpouch. Now the dr did say it is only 'PRESENTING' like Crohns disease, it doesn't mean it actually is. If the surgeoun gets in there and sees that is def. not Crohns, the jpouch is back on the table. But most likely they will wait to see if he starts to get sick again, if the crohns comes back, that means it was crohns.. If it doesn't come back it was the colitis.. So tmrw we will see the surgeon at 10am and the 2nd opinion at 3pm. We will know something for sure by dinner tmrw...Please be in prayer....